new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
