Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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