If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
