I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
