whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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