For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
