well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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