this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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