I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
