But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
