dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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