I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
They took my balls.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Randomize
