just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
