you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
