Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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