Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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