You really coming over, don't trick.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
