i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
a search helicopter?!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
