Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
