she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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