yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
