i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
