If i come over, it means nothing
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
