Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
