if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
