I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
