If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
