YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
