Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
