I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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