She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
