He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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