This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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