how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
