I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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