4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
