can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
