never play flip cup with pint glasses
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
