Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
