i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
