ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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