What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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