he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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