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Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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