Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
