She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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