so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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