I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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