One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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