How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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