everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
