As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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