We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
